Thursday, June 12, 2014

Playing catch up

Apparently, I am long overdue for a post....
I had no idea it's been this long since I last updated (nor did I really think anyone cared lol). However, I have received quite a few messages, texts or even running into people asking how things are going..which I have to admit, is kinda surprising but at the same time, the support in this sport is one of the most amazing and underrated aspects of it. 

In my last post I was 9 weeks out from Team U, several weeks ago I made the decision to put the breaks on this prep. This was NOT an easy decision and one that I REALLY struggled with making. I kept going back and forth in my mind..would I be feeling this way if I were ahead of schedule? Would things be different if I stepped up my game at 12 weeks out when I knew I was behind instead of "trusting the process" and feeling like I just wasted time?? **bangs head repeatedly** Since my first prep in 2008, I have NEVER not followed through..no matter what I always made it happen. Throughout my previous posts, I had expressed my concerns over my progress (or lack thereof), knowing my conditioning was behind where I needed to be. Now, sitting at what would be 3 weeks out I'm sorta having mixed emotions, kicking myself..thinking "UGH! I could have done it"..Having moments of being disappointed in myself for "giving up" or "quitting" blah, blah, fuckin blah and all that shit but the truth is, if I wanted to, REALLY wanted to, I would have, I'd do whatever I needed to, regardless if it was "smart" or not..Could I have killed myself to make it happen? Sure..did I want to? No. 

The reality is that sure prep is tough and there are days that suck but overall it should be fun, it should be a rewarding experience..otherwise, why do it? I was definitely stressing a TON..not just prep, but life. Working OT, car problems, vet visits with Bee Bee (and vet bills piling up! EEK!) and a likely move in the fall, kinda made prep feel like one more chore on my plate and I didn't want it to be like that, it shouldn't be like that. As I rolled along and knew that I was behind, I kinda began to kick into panic mode, felt like I was running like a chicken with my head cut off..Sure, 6 or 4 weeks out but to be feeling that way at 10-8 weeks? So I took a step back and weighed my options..what's it all worth?..A few days off from diet and training to just mentally get myself right and once I decided to put prep on the shelf for now, my stress levels immediately dropped. I began sleeping better, my mood was better, I was enjoying the gym and even cardio again..It wasn't something I HAD to do, it was something I WANT to do..that's is how it's supposed to be. It was clear I just needed to listen to my body and my heart. I don't half ass ANYTHING...When I'm in, I'm ALL IN or not at all. 

So, after a brief pity party I kept trucking on. As far as where things are now and where I go from here...I'm just doing what I do. I'm hitting the gym, enjoying training and getting my cardio sessions in...feeling better, not quite so out of shape anymore..well, expect when I use the stepmill, talk about humbling lol I'm also still dieting..I didn't just throw my hands up and eat ice cream...ok, maybe a lil bit SHHHH!!!! While, I am not "prepping" necessarily, just getting in shape, cutting down to see all that I built over the winter and while I have a ways to go still, I'm feeling really good with where my physique is right now and the shape it's taking. The truth is, on the East Coast, there are shows EVERY weekend, so depending how my body wants to play along (and life of course) who knows what's in store for the fall..

The bottom line is, stage or no stage, this is my lifestyle, it's what I do and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check in with me, offer support etc..I've got a really fantastic group of people in my life. 
And that about wraps up things in a nutshell...

Last Weekend@Diamond Gym
147-148lbs (ish)







Monday, May 5, 2014

9 Weeks Out

I'm not quite sure where the fuck time is going, but somehow I feel like I just started prepping and now it's May and I'm 9 weeks out?!?!

This last week has been a really positive one overall. My check in went well, there was a drop yet again on the scale..not as significant as the last couple but still a drop of more than a pound. I should be out of the 150's by my next update *crossing fingers and toes*
Aside from the scale, the physical changes are apparent in my progress pictures..not to mention, the way my clothes are fitting...or not fitting should I say lol Also, I can FEEL changes in my body which is pretty fuckin awesome..ya know, when you're shaving your legs and feel your hammies...yeah, I love that shit :) 

Yes, I'm happy to be making consistent progress however, we need to step it up in order for me to bring the level of conditioning I'd like to. Joe, acknowledged another solid week of progress but with that said, he did implement some changes going forward. YES!!!!!!!!!! We're dropping my fats a bit and bumping up my cardio...not adding any more sessions, but increasing the intensity/duration of my current sessions. *happy dance* I know, who the fuck WANTS less food and more cardio...Me that's who! I'm still having concerns on being ready in 9wks, so I'm begging for changes...and I'm not even remotely joking. 


In other prep-like news....
**The suit is officially in the works! I sent my measurements and some pictures to Jodie over the weekend so the ball is rolling there. We already decided on fabric/color a while back when I put my deposit down so at this point Imma let her creativity work it's magic. I'm starting to see things coming together and this is that point where I get girly..

**Not only do I have my music selected and edited, but I have a routine! GASP! I'm getting help from my friend Anthony (who is bodybuilder) who knows me, knows my style and helped me create something that was WAY better than I could have thought I'd be capable of. Now, I just have to practice my ass off to make it fluid and natural. 

**I'm pretty sure running is not for me. I have no clue how people do it?? I prefer to sprint out doors for my HIIT but holy fuck does my body take a beating. I love the intensity of it, how it kicks my ass but my knees, shins and feet are saying "Umm..fuck no, bitch" 

**I'm at that point where I'm starting to feel like I don't have enough hours in the day, which is bullshit considering I have 24 and I'm lucky if I sleep for 5-6 of them. I need to get better with my organization and time management, it keeps me sane. 

**Prep clumsy is in full effect. Without fail, numerous times per day I will spill/drop something and trip and/or bump into anything and everything. I've got scratches and bruised that I have no clue where they came from. 

**Aside from routine practice, I NEED to put in consistent time into posing practice. This comes back to the whole time management issue. I need to schedule that shit in just like my training or cardio sessions. My body is sore from my routine work, so I am CLEARLY out of shape but to spin it into a positive, hopefully all the fuckin sweating I'm doing will melt the fat off my ass. 


Let the cray-cray continue..............




9 Weeks Out:
Stats:
 5'4"
152.2lbs
Training:
Mountain Dog
Diet:
35g Fat/200G Carbs/165g Protein (4 days)
40g Fat/145G Carbs/165g Protein (3 days)
1-1.5gal water
Cardio:
3 40min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions
Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics

Monday, April 28, 2014

10 Weeks Out

I throat punched the panic button this weekend.....

My check in this weekend was a clusterfuck of crazy.
I went from YAY to FML in a hot second.

YAY: The scale dropped again this week, another significant drop...over 2 pounds! I knew I was down just by looking at myself, but that's a nice size drop in a week. Still not out of the 150's but that's a-comin'. Aside from that awesome surprise of a drop, the progress that I've made this week alone was evident in my pictures. My waistline has continued to come down, my ass is getting tighter and fuck, I even wore shorts to the gym. Talk about a victory. 

FML: No doubt, I'm making progress..However, I am still behind conditioning wise where I need to be at this point in my prep. At any given number of weeks, there is a mile marker if you will as to where your conditioning 'should' be to peak where you want to. Due to the fact that I am an emotional cutter and I love facts/figures, I pulled my check in from last season to get an idea of what I was doing (macros/cardio) and how I looked (conditioning)..With that said, I was eating much less, doing more cardio and yes, I was leaner/tighter than I am right now. **insert panic button throat punch here** At this point, my head did an exorcist type spin and thoughts of not being ready/being fat on stage had me freaking the fuck out. 

After I regained my sanity and logic (or whats left of it lol), I exhaled and grabbed a wee bit of perspective....
Yes, I am slightly behind where I need to be BUT, I am dropping with consistency a good amount of fat each week..2+lbs is nothing to just brush off. I am a good 15lbs up from where I was this time last season, no fuckin doubt I put in work during the off season and I am going to bring a much bigger/fuller/rounder physique...Now, I just gotta get my ass in shape so you can see it. And let's be real, I ain't afraid to put in the work and do what needs to be done. I've got a shit ton of issues but lack of effort isn't one of them. 

After all the crazy was subdued, the boss is keeping things rolling. No changes to the program (even though I begged for them LOL!). Why make changes for the sake of changes?!? Ummm..because Imma fuckin lunatic :o) 

OH! And last but not least, in addition to getting the fat off of my ass, I officially have my routine music edited and ready to go. Now, it's time to get to work on putting something together...no winging shit this season, Imma be ready!



10 Weeks Out:
Stats:
 5'4"
153.4lbs
Training:
Power/Mountain Dog
Diet:
45g Fat/200G Carbs/165g Protein (4 days)
45g Fat/145G Carbs/165g Protein (3 days)
1-1.5gal water
Cardio:
3 30min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions
Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics
Oh shit, Son!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

11 Weeks Out

Mentally, I was a little up and down over the last week..
This weekend I had a pretty damn good check in, which was just what I needed.

I was actually pleasantly surprised, I knew my physique had made progress over the last week but to see nearly a 2 pound drop on the scale was fuckin fantastic! I know it's not realistic to expect continued drops like that, but I do need to keep up the consistency. The scale obviously doesn't tell the entire story, so more importantly...my pictures SHOWED significant changes than the last round. The most noticeable shift is in my waistline, the taper is making a comeback lol I'm also seeing ham/quad separation on my side shots. Sending Joe a positive email is awesome..a week with no bitching, whining or stressing out. GO ME! As I said, I was mentally up and down so getting the thumbs up from the boss that we're on track and to just keep rolling was a nice morale booster. I'm still having those feelings like I'm not as far along as I should be or as I'd like to be etc...blah fuckin blah, I know.

I can say one of the biggest changes has been the feeling of "dieting". Yes, I'm hitting that point where I am hungry. My belly is growling and I'm not "satisfied". The higher carb days are definitely not nearly as bad as the lower days, who knew I'd miss rice so much??!! One of the trends I guess you could call it with contest prep, is people who act like it's supposed to be so easy and you shouldn't be hungry..that annoys me. Guess what? If it was that simple, we'd all be stage ready 24/7/365, but it's not so please STFU with that shit.

Random tidbits:
*Easter Weekend was a fun one, no there was no temptation to stray from my plan..I ate my meals and enjoyed the company of others, it's really not as difficult as some make it seem. Sure, I would have fucked up some candy under normal circumstances but let's be real, if my biggest issue is passing over some Reeses' eggs than I'm pretty fuckin lucky.
*YAY for my fat gurl jeans being loose!!! It's the only time not filling out the ass in my jeans is a good thing..On the downside, I still don't fit in much of my clothing. I had a mini-meltdown..I tried on countless things this weekend and I'm pretty sure that even as I drop more fat, with the added lean mass I'm carrying, even my summer clothes from last season aren't going to fit. Halter tops, shorts, skirts...all WAY too tight or too short. And that ladies and gentlemen is why I live in my gym clothes.
*Uncooked rice isn't too bad. I tossed some into a salad and it added a lovely crunch/texture. I'm pretty sure I took lazy to a whole new level. But, I have no shame.
*I've played with BB posing for YEARS in the gym, trying to do it for progress pictures is tough. Apparently, I need more time (and practice) than my self timer allows. Or a personal photographer so I can deflect blame when I look like shit. 
*Drinking water isn't a struggle like it had been, although not peeing my pants is a challenge. I now have even more sympathy for Bee Bee <3


  11 Weeks Out:
Stats:
 5'4"
155.6lbs
Training:
Power/Mountain Dog
Diet:
45g Fat/200G Carbs/165g Protein (4 days)
45g Fat/145G Carbs/165g Protein (3 days)
1-1.5gal water
Cardio:
3 30min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions
Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

12 Weeks Out

**my brain is scattered so I apologize in advance for the random babbling that may come ahead**

The last week has been a pretty good one overall, things are beginning to move at a consistent pace. I had my check in this weekend with Joe in person which is ideal IMO. I can see the changes in my physique taking place but I am not photogenic and progress pics tend to be less than stellar. After weeks of frustrating check in's with the scale, there was another solid drop this week. Ok, it was pretty much the same, then I went pee a couple of times (literally, like 4 times lol) and I saw a low of 157.2lbs..I haven't seen that number in a looooooooooong time, I talking since last September..maybe.


Stripping down and letting Joe look me over and tweak my posing was good for my spirit (as it usually is). There's no denying the progress I've made over the last few weeks specifically, but it's time to step it up, hit it a bit harder and get things really moving. One of the things we discussed was the possibility of doing a local show prior to Team U...My thought process is (if allowed) to cross over and do both FBB and WP. I figure if they're offering it, I want to do both. Obviously, this is all dependent on my body and WTF it decides to do, but that's how things are bouncing in around my head at the moment.
Now, just because things are progressing doesn't mean we're just rolling along. the boss did make some slight changes to my program for the following week. With the addition of a third lower carb day and a step up with sprints, we're pushing a bit harder going forward.


In all things diet/training related:
I'm still training my balls off, while I may not be shooting for single or double PR's, I am hitting rep PR's. I'm keeping the intensity up and even though I do miss the singles, this is a pretty challenging change of pace.
Unfortunately, just when I'm feeling fit, cardio reminds me that I am still out of shape :( With the weather finally getting nice, I got the bright idea to take my sprints outdoors..Umm, yeah, seemed like a good idea at the time. My hammies, abs, lungs and throat were on fire and I'm still feeling it. I've done intervals on the stepmill or spin bike but I haven't taken it outside in a few years, I was not prepared (and neither were my poor knees) for the impact sprinting puts on my body.


I get a lot of questions about my diet and right now, it's basically 2 different menus (higher carb and lower carb days). I eat the SAME thing every day, just varying amounts depending on my macros. I know there are MANY schools of thought on variety and all that shit but I'm lazy as fuck. I'd rather keep it simple and do the least amount of thinking possible. With that said, NO I do not eat anything I do not like. I enjoy ALL of my meals. Feedings are like clockwork at this point, I don't need an alarm clock..my belly knows when it's time for breakfast lol. My hunger has increased a bit on the lower carb days, I'm not starving but my tummy lets me know it's not satisfied.


**Warning..emotional wrap up ahead**
I guess the moment I begin to get emotional is the sign of prep when shit starts getting real. Yes, I still have 12wks to go, so this is mild lol
Sometimes, I have to stop and think..I'm VERY fortunate to share my life with the most amazing people. Those who push me, who believe in me more than I could even begin to believe in myself. Those who squash any doubts I have and help me keep my mind right. Thank you for listening to my ummm..hysteria lol and helping to give me another perspective that isn't always clear through my eyes.
Whew. Now with that shit out of the way....
Here we go!
  12 Weeks Out:
Stats:
 5'4"
157.2lbs
Training:
Power/Mountain Dog
Diet:
45g Fat/200G Carbs/165g Protein (4 days)
45g Fat/145G Carbs/165g Protein (3 days)
1-1.5gal water
Cardio:
3 30min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions
Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

13 Weeks Out

Houston, we FINALLY have fuckin progress!


This weekends 13wk out check in was exactly what my spirit needed.
I saw progress in my pictures AND on the scale, the perfect storm. After my weight being stalled around 161-162lbs I dropped below 160 for the first time since.........eerrr, ummm.....October/November maybe??! Ok, it's only down to 159.4lbs but Imma take that shit and run, but not literally cause I can't run lol


My Saturday check in procedure typically goes...Scale, then pictures but I flipped the order this weekend. I could SEE the changes in my physique throughout the week so I knew there would be proof in the pictures and really that's where it counts. With that said, I was already in the RIGHT mindset prior to stepping on the scale, but finally seeing the 150-anything made me so fuckin happy. **Yes. I am well aware that the number itself doesn't mean anything but the scale is a TOOL and the reality is, if you're dieting and eating in a deficit, the number should be dropping pretty consistently. so please, save your breath with the "who cares about the scale" lip service. Thankyousoveryfuckinmuch**


Even though I've been in the game a while and sure they're are "markers" if you will as far as prep is concerned, the truth is that my body has responded differently with EVERY SINGLE PREP. No two have been the same so at times while I can look back to see what I was doing and how my body was responding at X-wks out last season, there really aren't any guarantees to do "this" and expect "that". This year, the 160's have been my sticking point..my body had fought like hell to hold onto that weight/size but having finally broke that plateau, I feel like I'm over the hump and things with be changing and progressing with more consistency.


Random prep tidbits
*Nailing my diet with ease! It's basically auto pilot at this point. Am I hungry?? Umm..yes! First of all, I'm ALWAYS hungry so that's a given but no my diet is that "hard" by any means. I'm not going to gnaw my own limbs...yet
*Cardio is easy...wait? wut?? I can tell I'm getting my "fitness" back lol I'm not as winded and my sessions aren't as labored which is an awesome feeling. As much as I loathe cardio, I do like feeling fit.
*I have been making slight tweaks with my training, while I'll always be power focused (Imma PR junky) I've started running a program with more volume, higher reps...taking my main lifts (squats, bench, deads) to failure which is unlike I've done in the past. It definitely kicks my ass in a totally different way, but I have to admit, I am digging it.
*I'm 100% decided on my music and once it gets edited (ahem, Jimmy) then I'll start working on that whole routine thingy. Who wants to volunteer to put it together and teach me??! Anyone?! Hello!?



13 Weeks Out:
Stats:
 5'4"
159.4lbs {happy dance}
Training:
Power/Mountain Dog
Diet:
45g Fat/200G Carbs/165g Protein
45g Fat/145G Carbs/165g Protein
1-1.5gal water

Cardio:
3 30min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions
Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics






Tuesday, April 1, 2014

14 Weeks Out

First things first...Thank you for all the messages etc..asking about my little girl. Beatrix is doing much better, still not 100% but definite improvement. Big wet, cold nosed thank you kisses from her <3


Now, onto business..........


I'm not quite sure where time is going but this prep is flying by and this weekend was one of THOSE weekends. Yeah, the crazy is in full mutherfuckin force. To say I'm a bit frustrated is a wee bit of an understatement..I checked in with pics and stats this weekend and that fuckin scale is NOT moving, it's damn near stuck. I never would have thought getting under 160lbs would be such a battle for my body. I also did a round of pictures for Joe, even though I think I look like shit I can SEE that there is progress from my last set of pics. Taking progress shots is only fun when you're in good shape, when you're still carrying significant fluff, it blows but the one positive thing is pics don't lie, so even when you're doubting progress, the proof is in the pudding if you will..Pudding! Yummy!


Anywho, since I was really upset at my lack of progress this week, I pulled my pictures from 14wks out during my prep LAST year and the progress that I've made was clear as can be. I'm not really sure what I was expecting when I took a look at the side by side, but I was surprised. I'm 10lbs heavier and it's not ALL fat lol so that's gotta count for something, right?!!? Maybe I will be able to bring a larger/fuller, more complete physique this season?? I've definitely increase size overall, width and thickness..brought up my legs, which have been a weakness so seeing my progress made me take a step back and relax a little. (yes, just a little)


This weekend, aside from the scale and picture catastrophe I also had to break out the tape measure to take my measurements for my suit! EEEK!!!! I finally put my deposit down, picked my color/fabric and things are underway! I have no doubt, Jodie Bruce is going to create something absolutely breathtaking. I don't get girlie about many things, but I am already excited to see what she puts together. I get giddy thinking about it.


Along with my physical struggles dropping fat, mentally Imma basket case :(
I'm starting to hit the panic button to be honest. 14wks is sort of that time frame where you have an idea of what your body comp should be, what areas hold extra fat vs what areas should be tightening up etc..I do feel like I'm behind as far as my conditioning goes. I am pleased with the size/shape that I have, but when it comes to being able to dial in the total package, I think I should be further along with only 14wks to go so I'm having a lot of apprehension that my body is just not going respond as I would like. UGH *bangs head*


As fuckin crazy as I am, I was happy that the boss made some changes to my program going forward. I'm confident I should see some progress this week. He dropped some of my carbs and added in an additional day of cardio, I cannot believe I'm happy about that but that's how bad I want to be lean...


So with all that rambled, here we go....


14 Weeks Out:

Stats:
 5'4" (ok, slightly under)
161.8LBS (STILL!!!!)

Training:
Power/Mountain Dog
Diet:
45g Fat/200G Carbs/165g Protein
45g Fat/145G Carbs/165g Protein
1-1.5gal water

Cardio:
3 30min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions


Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics


{sigh} Just because................








Tuesday, March 25, 2014

A slight updateless update :)

This really isn't much of an "update" post as much as just really a snap shot into where my head has been over the last week...

Life has a way of throwing up roadblocks along the way and those who are close to me understand that over the last week my prep focus has half assed at best. Long story short, one of my puppies has been in and out of the hospital..even when at home she's needed pretty much 24/7 care so the last thing on my mind has been contest prep, it's just didn't fuckin matter..NOTHING mattered but her. As far as I'm concerned, her care is first and foremost, regardless of costs etc..Fuck this show.

My emotions were really all over the place...
I felt guilty for even attempting to go to the gym. Who the fuck cares??! It's not important. Of course, sitting at home staring at the walls or killing time in waiting rooms wasn't exactly productive either. Through all the craziness and nearly running myself ragged, I did keep my diet 100% on point and got to the gym when I could. My training/cardio was basically get the fuck in and get out ASAP, but I did it more than anything to attempt to give my mind a rest from all the stress.

With that said, I didn't "check in" this weekend. I let Joe know I was doing what needed to be done but my mind and heart weren't in it. So, no official check in on the scale or pics this weekend, just getting back into the swing of things. While my baby isn't out of the woods yet, she is definitely on the upswing so Mama has been getting more than 2hrs of sleep the last couple of nights :) As I said, I did keep my diet on point and really couldn't tell ya if I was hungry or not, I was too crazy to notice..the lone bright spot, I suppose lol In addition to the lack of sleep, I was also running on energy drinks. As if I wasn't already having a tough time getting my water in, I probably had 1 liter a day and that was a good day.

It was definitely an unwelcomed reality check to say the least. If my biggest problems are bitching about hating cardio or whining cause my ass is too fat...I am pretty fuckin lucky and let's be real, it's bodybuilding, it's not that serious.
And on that note, let's keep the crazy train rolling cause there's shit to do..........


15 Weeks Out:

Stats:
 5'4" (ok, slightly under)
160.8LBS (as per last wk)

Training:
Power/Mountain Dog
Diet:
45g Fat/215G Carbs/165g Protein
45g Fat/155G Carbs/165g Protein
1-1.5gal water (not even fuckin close)

Cardio:
2 35min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions




Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Shit feels REAL now....

Ok, it's official. I now feel like I'm "prepping"..


16 weeks out and the changes are occurring, both physically and mentally.


My check in went pretty well. There was FINALLY a slight drop on the scale this weekend. I'm down a little more than a pound which was awesome to see, even if I am still in the 160's (bigmutherfuckinsigh). I can tell my body is tightening up, I have more separation and vascularity than last week which is why the scale was still a bit surprising, I was expecting MORE of a drop based on what I see in the mirror. I'm kinda at that point where the changes aren't significant yet so I'm getting anxious and start worrying that I'm further behind than I thought etc..Fortunately, I was able to avoid taking progress pictures since I was getting to see Joe in person for the first time this season. I will take an in person evaluation over pictures ANYDAY!


On Sunday, I had my first posing practice of the season...
Even though I was excited to let Joe look me over in person, I damn near had a panic attack trying to find a pair of shorts that fit me! I haven't even attempted to get in shorts since maybe Sept so this was a fuckin event. Thankfully, I did manage to get into a pair, but dammit quads rubbing together is so uncomfortable. I'm lucky I didn't catch fire :(  Stripping down to shorts and a sports bra was not the highlight of my weekend but on a bright side, I look better that I thought which was comforting. Running through my poses, I could see my body responding, conditioning improving and could start to really SEE the whole picture if that makes sense.


Now, As far as practice itself went...ummm, I am REALLY out of shape. I'm talking sweaty, cramping and winded lol Posing is MUCH harder than people realize. It's not fun posing when you're fat, it pretty much fucking blows so I don't do any posing in the off season whatsoever cause who the fuck wants to see that?? I hit my quarter turns and mandatories with relative ease but holding them and making my transitions smooth need work. I'm also playing with some variations to improve my presentation. 16 weeks is plenty of time for some fine tuning, but I should probably get to work on that whole routine thing....


After seeing talking with the boss in person, he made some changes to my program. Now, being the sick fuck that I am..I'm excited! WTF?!? Yeah, I want to be lean THAT bad, that I'm all "yay, take my food!" Sounds good now, but I'm sure I'll be kicking myself shortly. My macros went from being consistent, to a bit of a carb cycle..without a really low day. He also bumped up my cardio a little bit too, so I'm looking forward to seeing how my body responds over the next week or so.


16 Weeks Out:

Stats:
 5'4" (ok, slightly under)
160.8LBS

Training:
Power/Mountain Dog
Diet:
45g Fat/215G Carbs/165g Protein
45g Fat/155G Carbs/165g Protein
1-1.5gal water

Cardio:
2 35min Steady State/2 HIIT sessions



Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The crazy is well underway....

17 Weeks sounds like forever, but given the work I've got ahead, the crazy is already running full throttle...

I'm already beginning to have those panicked "will I be ready??!" thoughts, since I'm not really progressing at the rate I'd like to see. Am I making progress? ABSOLUTELY. While there isn't much movement on the scale the shift in my physique is obviously taking place. The scale is fluctuating around 161-162lbs, but I do see an improvement in my progress pictures (as does Joe) and the physical markers...face, chest and waistline are all noticeably tighter/leaner. Another positive is that I'm beginning to feel like I'm "in shape"..Cardio is a bit easier, less rest between sets etc..One of the shitty things about carrying extra fat is how out of shape and sluggish I feel so this is a nice change of pace.

In other prep related tidbits...

*I am 99.9% sure I've found the music for my routine. It'll need some editing of course, thankfully I only need 60 seconds lol and then I will start working on putting something together. Unlike previous years, I have ZERO interest in even attempting to wing this shit. I'm looking into getting help of course cause I ain't got a clue how to even begin choreographing this shit. I know all my best poses, I can hit them all...but yeah, transitioning, making it flow...Coordination is NOT my forte!

*THE suit is in the works! Most girls get excited about purses and shoes..IDGAF about that shit, but a posing suit gets me alllll types of girlie. Suits are the biggest expense of competing and I kicked around the idea of borrowing or renting etc..but having a suit that is custom for your body (especially for WP since I need to actually MOVE in it) is important. Jodie Bruce, Fit Wear Designs will be creating something amazing for this season and I cannot wait to see what she comes up with.

Now, even though the boss sees a little progress he did still make some slight tweaks to my program..a little increase in cardio, but didn't touch my macros.
Works for me..I ain't afraid to bust my ass, but let's not touch my food...yet :)


17 Weeks Out:

Stats:
 5'4" (ok, slightly under)
161-162LBS (GRRR!)

Training:
Power/Mountain Dog

Diet:
45g Fat/225G Carbs/165g Protein
1-1.5gal water (Struggling!!!!)

Cardio:
2 Steady State/2 HIIT sessions



Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

And here we go................

The meet marked the official end to my off season and with that the switch has been flipped. I've been "dieting" if you will for a few weeks, keeping things tight and dropping the slop. Now that the meet is over, my blog and my life lol are in locked in full contest prep mode tunnel vision. GIDDY UP BITCHES!!!


Now, the plan of action....

While I had my fun navigating my own off season, I don't play that crazy shit during contest prep..so, as of the first of the year, I put my physique back in the hands (and mind lol) of Joe Franco. We had 4 successful years together and I'm confident that 2014 will be no different. If there's anyone who understands my brand of crazy combined with my work ethic, it's him. Joe is handling both my diet/nutrition and cardio. As far as training goes, I'll be taking a page from my off season and running a mix of power and Mountain Dog. I love the intensity and I feel like my physique really transformed with this approach so I'm looking forward to utilizing it with a cutting diet...as opposed to eating everything not nailed down, hey..I was growing ((eyeroll))

I'll be tracking my progress weekly with the scale (shoot me!) and pictures. Both of which make me want to play in traffic. I hit the stage at 125lbs last summer, I'm sitting a good 35lbs (give or take) above that. Of course, WP is by height, so the actual NUMBER on the scale doesn't matter but I am hoping to come in harder and ideally at 130+lbs. Is that realistic? I have no fuckin clue but in my head it is lol I had a fantastic off season, how much of that equates to bigger/denser muscle...we will see. On a positive note, I am carrying this weight better than I ever have in the past so while I definitely have my work cut out for me, I do feel like I'm in a decent place.

As things sit now, I'm currently  (just under) 18wks out from Team Universe. I'm kicking around the idea of  a local show in either Philly or Jersey a couple weeks prior, so we'll see about that but the goal is to peak and bring my best package to Teaneck, NJ on July 4th.


And onto the goods....

18 Weeks Out:


Stats:
 5'4" (ok, slightly under lol)
161.2LBS (UGH!)


Training:
Power/Mountain Dog

Diet:
45g Fat/225G Carbs/165g Protein
1-1.5gal water (which has NOT been happening ugh)

Cardio:
1 Steady State/3 HIIT sessions


Supplementation:
Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, Liver Cleanse, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and ThermoGold
Glucosamine and probiotics





Thursday, February 20, 2014

Meet Recap




My first powerlifting meet is a wrap!
There is really only one word I can use to describe the experience...ADDICTING.

I went into the weekend trying to avoid putting expectations on myself. Yes, I had a few numbers bouncing around in my head but overall the goal was not to bomb. I was asked many times about cutting weight and NO, I didn't put any effort into shooting for a certain weight class. I've been hanging around the 162-165 range for the last few weeks so that is what I went with, ended up weighing in Saturday morning at just over 162.

Since I was in a new territory, I played it pretty conservative in picking my openers. I wanted to make sure I could nail them with ease, following commands and of course, the anxiety/nerve factors.
I opened my bench with 135, having repped that for 10 in the gym, I knew it would be easy. I went with smaller jumps for my second and third attempts with 150 and 165..I've hit 165 for reps, so I would say it was a safe bet. My worry was that I only had been working on pausing for the last week or so prior so I didn't want to attempt a number I hadn't worked with before. In hindsight, that shit flew up and was MUCH too easy..Live and learn, I should have went higher. Even though I am a very confident deadlifter, having never done it in this arena I picked an easy opener of 315 and it was retarded easy lol Unlike my hesitation with the bench, I took a bigger jump with my pull and hit 350 on my second attempt..it was work, but it was smooth. By my 3rd attempted, I was amped up and I didn't want to leave thinking I played it too safe. 365 was a gym PR, that I had only done once a few weeks ago, but I felt good and wanted more so I went for 370..nailed it and it felt fuckin AMAZING!
I came out 6 for 6 with a PR, really I cannot ask for more than that.

One question I've been asked frequently is how does it compare to Bodybuilding. It doesn't. They are two completely different animals. As much as I love bodybuilding, there is an empowering adrenaline rush that you get from power/strength that cannot be matched in any other avenue. In a physique driven endeavor, there is so much subjectivity, so much gray area...in strength, it's black and white, you move it or you don't. The personal rewards are empowering..having goals, reaching benchmarks that are about performance, what your body can DO is something I wish more women would focus on.



And with all that rambled, this shit is a wrap and now for the shout outs!
As with any endeavor, I am never flying solo...
Yes, it was just me and the weight at the end of the day it wouldn't have been possible without the love and support of the people who believe in me, even when I at times doubted myself. Thank you for all the messages, emails, texts etc along with way.


*My gym family..from spotting, lifting off, loading my plates or buckling my belt..Thank you for always being there to push me and encourage me. You guys were my biggest cheerleaders and I feed off your energy.


*My best friends, my family <3 Jimmy and Herb..Thank you for listening to my nonsense of ramblings, for supporting me EVERY step of the way. Unconditionally. I love you bitches something fierce! My best friend, my sister, my right arm..Rosie, my partner in crime...NOTHING is impossible with you by my side..You ALWAYS have my back and there isn't anyone else I'd want lifting off for me. Just another chapter in our story, Mama...It just keeps getting better.


*HUGE thank you to Anthony King for stepping up, helping manage my crazy over the last couple weeks and coaching me through the day. I followed direction, did as I was told (even though I was resistant lol) and there is no doubt I wouldn't have hit my PR without your guidance.


*Thank you to Gene, Amy, RPS/MHP and everyone who helped put on a great meet. I've been to many meets, but as a first time competitor, it was an incredible experience and I cannot wait to get back out there and do it again.


WHEW! The off season is officially a wrap and now, baby girl is back to work..........

Monday, February 3, 2014

A little perspective and reflection..

Just under 2 Weeks from my meet and the wheels are turning....


My training I guess you could say is wrapping up at this point. My heavy days are behind me, time to deload and doing a little form work in the coming weeks.


One of my admitted struggles is being able to stop and get a little perspective on where I am and how far I've come without being consumed by what I still want to achieve. I tend to set lofty goals and expectations for myself, while I may not hit the goals I set for this meet..no doubt, I'm so far ahead from where I started just a couple of months ago. Yes, my off seasons from bodybuilding are spent training for size..for strength and power but never with a calculated date circled on the calendar until this year. Once I was told "you're doing it" my training switched gears from just throwing some weight on the bar to a more structured strength program with a purpose.

My approach in the gym and my mindset more than anything have made significant changes over the last few months. I've been guilty of training all out, balls to the wall all the time. Every.Single.Day. Eventually that shit will catch up with you and I would always come to a point where I'd hit a wall, both physically with my strength progression and mentally with my frustration level. At times during my training, I hit moments of aggravation and disappointment..there is nothing like failing or missing a lift that makes me want to put my fist through a wall. PR's are addicting..Failing is not something I handle well and as much as I didn't want to (and said I wouldn't), I did put numbers in my head that I wanted to achieve, even though I won't hit them, there is no doubt when looking at my log book and spreadsheets, I've made significant gains in a short amount of time.


Even though the meet isn't full, I still applied the same training program to all my lifts over the last 8 weeks or so...
I've hit consistent PR's weekly...I'm now repping my previous squat 1RM of 275 for a triple and hitting 315 for a (not quite as smooth as I'd like) single. Before running this training program, my strongest pull was 325 and I have since pulled 330 for a triple and 365 for a single...what does that mean come meet time is anyone's guess but to say I've made incredible gains would be an understatement. One of my goals was to improve my seated military press and I was able to not only surpass my previous 1RM of 125, but I've since repped 150 for a triple. The kryptonite of my training has been the bench press..that fucker has caused me more anger and frustration than anything in the gym ever has. I haven't been focused on flat benching for a long time and admittedly my form needs a lot of work..I guess my previous 1RM of 185 was a fluke as I have yet to come close to that again. My best this training cycle has been 165 for a triple. I know "they" say your squat and deads should be comparable, but I'm not sure the same applies for your shoulder press and bench lol Blame it on my delts, they don't know their own strength!

Overall, I'm pretty excited and looking forward to getting out there. Of course a bit nervous, anxious and all that good shit too. As far as all things vanity driven, after getting on the scale this weekend (165) and trying on my singlet...ummmm, I'm rethinking that whole not cutting weight thing lol My poor legs are squeezed within an inch of their life, but on the bright side, my ass looks fantastic...
Hey, black is slimming, right!?! Well, that's what I'm going with :)


I love black, I waddle and lift weight. I'm pretty sure, I am a penguin...







Friday, January 24, 2014

((GULP)) 3 Weeks Out

Entry is signed, sealed and delivered!
(Ok..it's really paypal'd but that's not as catchy lol)


Even though I had already mentally committed to the meet, until that shit was on lock, it didn't feel "real"...now, it's fuckin on!

The countdown is now at just 3 Weeks til my meet..OMFG! There are a multitude of thoughts/emotions going through me at any given moment. I'm REALLY excited, but at the same time, since it's something I've never done there is a bit of fear of the unknown. While I'm not new to the power lifting world, I am new to the platform but I honestly can't think of a better way to wrap up what has been an awesome off season.

In my last post, I expressed my ummm...frustration with my training as of late, well thankfully this week was definitely a more positive one...

Have I mentioned how disappointed I am that this isn't a full meet?!?!? My squats have really come a long way and they're one of my best lifts. After hitting a PR last week, I went in after having 2 solid days of rest and hit 275x3, 285x1, 295x1 then 305x1..It was a sweet fuckin night! The fact that just a couple of months ago, 275 was my 1RM and I'm now repping it smoothly is a hell of a feeling...Yeah, I'm now chasing a 315 squat :D

My bench has been a serious thorn in my side..I've been STRUGGLING on another level. After 3 weeks of just failing during my training sessions, I was able to hit 165 for 2 sets of 3..while, I'm less than thrilled with the numbers, I was relieved to have a good night.. My form seems to be my sticking point on the bench. I still have yet to hit my max from last off season, so to say I'm frustrated and disappointed would be putting it mildly. Obviously, I will not be breaking any records, but with just a few weeks to go, now isn't the time to make crazy changes. At this point, I'm just going in with the goal to not bomb and I'll work on fixing things after the meet. I really think I should be allowed to sub my bench with squats..just an idea lol

Fun with deads! One thing I suck at doing is even estimating or projecting any sort of numbers. The last time I attempted a 1RM, I hit 340 and failed at 350..recently for reps I was able to get 330 for a triple, it was a grinder after doing sets with 310 and 320, so what can I expect down the road, hell if I know lol My deads have progressed a bit slower than I would like, but I think that has more to do with my lofty goals which aren't always realistic..so while it may not be in a few weeks, 405 WILL happen!


Now I'll wrap up with all things physique oriented..I'm fat lol Ok, I kid, kid..kinda.
My weight is pretty much holding steady at about 162.(somethingorother)lbs, slightly annoyed but I do feel like my composition is shifting a bit, so I'll take that as a win. I have been getting in a few days of cardio each week, which is a lovely reminder of how out of shape I am. My diet has been pretty "clean", I'm hitting my macros for the most part, except for a rare meal out but even then, I'm making decent choices..No dessert menus for dinner :/

I've been asked several times if I am cutting weight...NO. Whatever weight I weigh in at is the weight class I will compete at, prep will begin soon enough, so I'm just rolling along at this point...





Monday, January 13, 2014

The Good, The Bad and The Crazy


The last week or so has been all over the place...physically and mentally. 
This post has bipolar written all over it...
Consider yourself warned!

I'll kick it off with...

THE BAD:
I really can't pinpoint exact why I was feeling like I was but every day was a struggle in the gym. My diet is on point, sleep was normal (which is typically shitty) etc..I'll be feeling good but yet, I just didn't "have it" when I stepped in the weight room. Everyone knows I pretty much live for deadlifting (yes, that's my life lol) so when my pulls are shitty, it's incredibly frustrating. I haven't gone for a max pull in a while, so I was amped as all hell to go for it but it just sucked..I hit a PR of 320 for 3 then followed that up with a PR of 340 for a single..I then went for 350 but couldn't get it past my knees :( Honestly, I shouldn't have even went for it..while I got 340, my form wasn't ideal..I muscled that fucker up. I tried to be positive..I mean, 2 PR's in one session is nothing to be pissed off about, right??

While I was able to brush off that slight hiccup..the disaster that is my bench press is another fuckin story. More than anything, my form really needs work and I just didn't have a feel for any sort of weight. I failed horrendously...I could barely move 155 for a single, when I was able to bang out sets of 5 with it the week before..everything felt heavy. I felt weak, achy and just fatigued. The rest of my chest training was just going through the motions..it was 2 days in a row where I just didn't have it and it was incredibly demoralizing. I'm talking throwing my wraps, kicking shit type of frustration.

THE CRAZY:
And this is where the crazy side of my head takes over...
After having a shitty week of training and my lifts just fuckin tank, I start to question myself. Only 5 weeks left...WTF did I get myself into?? Am I in over my head?? I'll never hit the numbers that I want to..I fuckin suck, blah blah..I hate failing, more than anything. Did I mention I'm fat and out of shape too? I have set such retarded expectations for myself that I put an immense amount of pressure at times I get overwhelmed..yes, all by myself, self inflicted hysteria..I know..fuckin stupid. **bangs head**

To end things on a positive note...

THE GOOD:
After the few shitty days in the gym, I took a rest day just did some light cardio and came back ready to get shit done. So, even while my pulls and bench lacked..I nailed sexy PR's (yes, they were dead sexy!) on both my military press and squats. 145 for a triple on presses and hit a 300 squat for a single..HOLY FUCKIN SHIT! It was my first time even attempting it, so to get it was really mind blowing. Talk about an self esteem booster to wrap up the week I was having. To say my morale got a kick in the ass would be an understatement...
As if finally crushing some numbers wasnt amazing enough, all things vanity driven are moving in a positive direction as well. While my weight held steady this week, I can see the changes in my physique..ok, I'm not much leaner/tighter lol but I am beginning to see my shape taking place and some more lines when I'm training..so that's a win all around. 

That feeling, that rush..the high of doing something that I at one point would have never imagined possible, is what I live for..it's a high that I chase and when I get, it just makes me want to raise the bar to the next level..Even through the bad days and the crazy ones too, I just fuckin love this shit and really, that is what it's all about.

If you managed to survive the minefield that is my brain, I leave you with this little gem of wisdom courtesy of JB...