Thursday, December 20, 2012

Who? What? When? Where? Huh huh huh?!?!

I have been getting a TON of questions with regards to my goals, competing, what I'm doing, what my plans are etc so I figured I would at least give ya'll a little glimpse into my head and where it's focused...consider yourself warned ;-)

Yes, training is my lifestyle and it's a daily part of who I am and at the end of the day, it's a step forward in the progression of myself physically, mentally and emotionally...but it's also about setting goals and not only reaching them but sometimes even surpassing them. With everything I've had going on the last few months, the grim reality that I may not take the stage next year became a sobering possibly..til I stood the fuck up and said "FUCK THAT"!!! This is what I do, what I love and I'll be damned if some bullshit will get in my way...sure shit comes up, but..I always...ALWAYS find my way around, over or strait fuckin through it!

Now, saying I was upset about the slop weight I put on would be a bit of an understatement (ya think??)..It makes me fucking miserable. So I took control of things, buckled down and dropped a little over 8lbs of that. Once I decided that I am not giving up on next season, I started trying to plan my course of action. I have my sights set on a hitting the WP stage again in June 2013!!!!

And then my mind starts running....

Do I continue to drop fat to feel comfortable? Do I keep trying to put on more muscle?? Why keep wasting time cutting?? That's ridiculous really..Doing cardio and dieting in the off season are a recipe for disaster..I KNOW THIS! WTF?! It's enough to make my head spin. I've been basically going at it on my own, with some advice and help from friends along the way but once I decided to compete next season, there was no doubt I needed to hand the reigns (and all the thinking) over to someone else.

I started working with a new coach, Noel Fuller a couple of weeks ago and the first thing he did is tell me to stop fuckin doing cardio ((GASP!)) and then he increased my macros!!! OMFG! As much as I don't wanna add another fuckin pound, my goal right now is to get my metabolism humming, train and grow. I still have time before I would have to start "prep" for a June show...Now's the time to take advantage of the last bit of my off season. No cardio..none, not a hot second (YAY!!!!) fueling my body well...good, productive food..NOT pints of ice cream and throwing it down in the gym.. Over the last week or so, yeah...the scale was up a few pounds but that's to be expected. More importantly, I can see the composition shift in my body...I feel a little more "solid" and less "flabby" if that makes sense lol  

Anywho that pretty much sums up where I am right now..
Still fully focused on making gains, doing work for what's left of my off season then I'll strip it all down for June!

What can I say, I love's what I know :)

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Lions, Tigers and Numbers...OH MY!!!

It's been a month since I've been back into the routine of life...
I have a solid month of training and nutrition under my belt and I feel like myself again.

This weekend, I got on the scale for the first time in a month. I'm not getting swept up in the number itself, it's just a tool to gauge my progress and to make sure things are moving in the right direction. I was pleasantly, but not so surprised to see an 8.6lbs drop. I can see the change in the mirror, the shape changing and physically I FEEL much better than I did a month ago so I knew there would be a shift in the scale. 

As history has proved itself, I can become a slave to the scale and to the "magic" number. I do intend on weighing myself every few weeks or so just to gauge that things are moving in the right direction. I have target numbers that I am shooting for, but it's not anything I plan on obsessing over. I have a guesstimate of the amount of body fat I am carrying so I'm shooting to get a feel for what my "comfortable/healthy" weight is. I feel 100% confident that I will not become a slave to the little evil box, but I take it as a piece of information just like logging my workouts or anything else. 

Now, lemme ramble for a hot second....

Numbers have the ability to drive people INSANE! I mentioned how much I lost, but I thought about not disclosing my actual weight...I'm not embarrassed of it or anything like that. Sure, I've never weighed this much, but I've also never carried this amount of muscle mass so really, it's all relative. The problem I have is the way people (mostly women) compare themselves to each other..I am guilty of this as well. After losing 8.6lb, I am down to 151.4lbs. I am standing at a towering 5'4" so just because we may be the same height, similar structures etc that doesn't mean we will carry the weight the same and just cause X amount of pounds looks one way on you, doesn't mean it will look the same way on me..See, what I'm getting at. I get asked by a lot of women, what I weigh, what my stage weight is, blah blah..but the reality is, IT DOES NOT MATTER! In addition to the scale and weight, clothing size is another thing..I am guilty of getting caught up in the size of my jeans, tops etc but seriously who the fuck cares!?!? With vanity sizing, brand, styles and all that bullshit..Especially the way clothing is designed, if you have ANY sort of muscle and shape, finding something that fits and looks good is no easy task..therefore, the size on the tag is meaningless. I am a size 9 for those who have asked..This is the largest size I have ever worn but I can honestly say I feel the best I have in a long time so really, why fuckin give a shit about the size?!

We are all shaped differently, carry our muscle and our body fat differently so while we can look to one another as inspiration, motivation etc...the truth is we are all unique and our genetics play the most important role in what we look like so comparisons are an exhausting waste of time and energy. 

So there are the numbers in black and white for ya....I'm 5'4", 151.4lbs and a size 9..BOOM! 

In closing, cause pictures are fun............

Fall 2011: 130lbs, Size 3

Fall 2012: 152lbs, Size 9