It's feeling REAL...

It's beginning to "feel" like contest prep...

Sure, I began my prep at 20wks out, but now sitting at just under 11wks out, I FEEL like I am prepping. Aside from seeing the changes in my physique...getting tighter, lines coming in, veins and striations coming out (all of which is my fave part lol), I am starting to have ups and downs as far as my energy goes, I definitely feel like I need to get more sleep at night and I'm beginning to get hungry :o) Anyone who knows me, can tell ya..Imma fat kid who can ALWAYS eat, but this is actual belly grumbling hunger. As sick as I am, I'm thinking "YAY I must be eating up all the fat on my body" LOL! I know, silly..but that's my mind for ya. Also, in the gym my strength feels like it may be finally taking a hit..BOOOO! I'm still throwing down, going to keep pushing myself but I'm not an idiot..Imma listen to my body and when it says to back off, I will.

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to spend the day with some amazing ladies at Montanari's Powerhouse Gym in CT..Talk about a motivational kick in the ass! (*side note: Philly needs a gym like that, just sayin or I need to move lol) I was fortunate enough to get some great feedback and perspective on my physique, the progress I'm making (apparently, they don't think I'm fat either lol) and tweaks on my posing. The beauty of WP is that even though there are 'mandatory' poses, you can really put a personal twist on it and with Jaime and Rene's help I found the poses that help display MY best physique. I obviously have a TON of practicing to do, but I am feeling a new level of confidence that I'm hitting for the first time this prep. I am now really looking forward to posing practice and plan on getting in a few sessions each week and increasing as prep moves further along.

As I mentioned before, I am now doing check-ins with my coach 2x a week. I sent my pics and stats in over the weekend and there wasn't much of a change :( The scale was holding steady on Saturday, even though I feel like I can see changes..It's frustrating to say the least. I checked my weight again this morning and while a moved down a teeny bit, I was still expecting more. It's only moving a point here and there..I'm -->thisclose<-- to buying a new one cause that fucker is broken! I started cardio at the end of last week, so I'm sure it's still a bit soon to see much of a response from that, but I'll take any drop I can get. I'm just doing 20min sessions...but on the stepmill, it's no fuckin joke! I am dripping sweat and huffing and puffing...Holy out of shape bodybuilder, Batman!

This week was definitely one of the times where I am thankful for having a smart coach in my corner guiding me along. He gave me a nice little pep talk (but no hand holding or coddling bullshit) and we're pushing forward. Is my weight being stubborn? Yep, but I'm doing what I gotta do and we're making shit happen so on to kickin ass tomorrow!


And, for some bizarre reason NIN always seem to be a theme throughout my contest preps....

'Scuse me while I rant......

*hops on soap box*

The internet can be an amazing place--I've found countless sources of inspiration and motivation, I've even been fortunate enough to inspire and motivate others as well. At the same time, the way people feel a sense of entitlement to trash talk and insult others is ridiculous.

I have to say, the one that tops my list of internet pet peeves is the hate/judgement and disrespect toward women in the bodybuilding community.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...What one person loves, another does not. Ya know what? THAT'S OK! Hell, that's why there is chocolate, vanilla and chubby hubby ;-) Just as the topic of what is beautiful is subjective, as is what is considered "feminine". Being beautiful and feminine is a personal feeling---one NOT dependent on the amount of muscle mass a woman carries or how low her body fat % is. FYI: Muscle is NOT gender specific, so can we please shut the fuck up with the "dude" and "masculine" bullshit already?!

People need to stop and think for a hot second before you leave disrespectful comments on a woman's picture...SHE IS A PERSON! She is someone's wife, sister, mother, daughter and friend. You would NEVER approach someone on the street and tell them that their wife look likes a "man" or is "gross" so let's not grow a pair cause you're hiding behind a computer. Throwing your negative opinion and hurling insults is reprehensible and shows a lack of YOUR character. If you don't like what you see, please keep moving along. 

Regardless if she is a bikini competitor, a FBB or anything in between...She doesn't bust her ass to impress you or has any need for your approval. Maybe, just maybe she doesn't give a fuck what you think about her! You need to take a step back away from your keyboard and outta mommy's basement...take a look in the mirror and worry about your damn self. Figure out who you are and why the fuck you are so concerned and intimidated by strong women. 

Now, I cannot speak for others but as far as my own body image is concerned...I am the strongest and most muscular that I have even been in my entire 30yrs! And with that, I can wholeheartedly say that I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin...I have never felt more "feminine" or more like a "woman"....so suck on that!

Yes, this rant was geared toward m'ladies but male or female, at the end of the day...do what YOU love, build the physique YOU want and live your life for YOU...fuck anyone who has a problem with it. 

*As I hop off my soap box*

I leave you with the gorgeous, muscular AND feminine Alina Popa, captured by CZ

12 Weeks Out and a little crazy....

Yeah, crazy....Don't say I didn't warn ya ;-)

I'm 12 weeks out and I have to say, this last week my head has been all over the place. It's not even "good day vs. bad day"...It's more like hourly lol  

I checked in with Noel over the weekend, took my stats and pics. Unfortunately, there was no change in my weight this week. No gain, no loss..just holding steady. I feel like when I look at myself, I SEE a difference, I can SEE changes (delt, pec separation..veins!) then in pics..nothing, nada...fuck, I actually think I look WORSE this week than last?!?! I'm not even going to bullshit anyone, it put me in a sour fuckin mood. I really felt like this show may not be possible, 12 weeks just isn't enough time, There was even a part of me that thought maybe it's not meant to be...WTF am I doing?! That is not me and that is not my style. Of course I'll be ready, I'll get shit done..It's what I do! AHHHHH!!!! 

Ok, so after my crazy train stopped at the station of reality, I had a good talk with Noel and according to him..No, I am not fat. (Stop laughing and/or rolling your eyes at me!) He feels in am in a good place with 12 wks to go and did make some slight tweaks to my diet to help get things moving. We have still not implemented any cardio into my program as of yet, but that day will be coming and I cannot believe it, but I am looking forward to pounding out some cardio. I havent done a hot second in months, so I know my body will respond better to it than it ever has in the past. Also, a little change moving forward is that I will need to check in/speak with the boss every few days..no more weekly updates, shit just got real! 

On a brighter, less crazy/obsessive note...
My training is still rolling along! I'm feeling strong and my energy is still solid. I hit a couple PR's this week which is always a good self-esteem booster =) I hit 260 on squats (I <3 knee wraps) and 170 on my bench..both 1RM PR's! They felt heavy as fuck, but definitely had me on a high afterwards..not to mention exhausted, I need a nap. While it feels awesome to be making gains in the gym, I'm also not an idiot..I am listening to my body. There are days when my body just doesn't feel "good" enough to be pushing the limit, so I don't...there is always the next training session. This is something that has taken me some time to learn but, I'm a little older and a weeeeeee bit wiser....


Ok, so 12 weeks out and here's the deal:

Training: 5-6 days/wk..heavy and intense
Diet: lower fats/moderate carb/higher protein
Cardio: ZERO
Supplementation: Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, ProFlex Advance Joint Support, Liver Cleanse, Muscle Nitro PM, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Adrenol8 (pre/wo), Pure Whey and **ThermoGold** (yes folks, the junky is back on fatburners!)



Also, for those who havent had their fill of my babbling, I have started a journal up on RXGirl so ladies, feel free to join the fun!

Lucky number 13....

Prep is flying by, it's already the second week of March and I'm 13 weeks out! 

I had a GREAT check in with Noel this week, I couldn't be happier =) I dropped another 2lbs and I'm down to 144.4lbs. Obviously since I had a good week, there were no changes to my program..Of course that didn't stop me from asking if I should be doing cardio yet! WTF?!? I'm dropping without the addition of cardio, yet I still ask about it..I know, I'm an idiot. I suppose this wouldn't be an update without me bitching about something and that would be pictures :/ I HATE the progress picture taking process. Even though the scale was down and I do feel like you can see the changes in my pictures, they don't really show how far my shape is coming along. I can see my waistline coming in, but I still look very soft in pictures. I look in the mirror and see clear delt/bi/tri and even chest separation, yet not so much in the pics. I swear in real life, I have hammies...they go into hiding when I take a pic!

On the training front, things have been rockin! Even though I am dieting, my diet isnt crazy strict and since I'm not doing cardio I still have max energy in the weight room. Even as I drop body weight, I am still hitting PR's in the gym. Over the last week, I hit a squat PR of 235x8 and a deadlift PR of 300x3! As long as I feel good, I plan on continuing to throw down...I'm hoping for another deadlift PR this week, so hopefully there will be video to follow :)

As I said, my diet isn't anything crazy so while yes, I am hungry...anyone who knows me, knows that is pretty much my constant state of being lol I am not STARVING or anything like that. I have been asked what kind of cravings I am having and honestly, I'm not really having any. Would I like to live on ice cream, candy and cereal? Sure! But seriously, I'm not food obsessed and I haven't been really longing for anything. Will that change? I would assume so considering my inner fatty doesn't shut it for long, but I'll enjoy this while it lasts.

In other exciting news, I hit the part of prep where shit gets real...

*I'm getting clumsier. Over the last week, not a day has gone by where I haven't dropped, broke or spilled something lol WHOOPS!

*Every song I hear, I now think "Hmm...Oooh, could this be my routine song?" This will be an ongoing process.

*I've been kicking out suit ideas and the thought of renting/used versus new/custom. The reality is, on stage fit is the most IMPORTANT thing. While I would love a beautiful blinged out suit, it doesn't fit with my budget, so I'm opting for fit first and foremost. I have started talking with a designer and I'm confident she will put together something that will make me feel and look my best. 

Before I wrap up, I have to thank everyone who has sent me messages etc to express their support for my journey but more importantly, those who have reached out to tell me that I have inspired or motivated them in any way. I know I don't see myself as others do, but it really BLOWS my mind that I can have any sort of impact on anyone. I'm just me, I'm doing what I love..I'm just a chick who loves to train, the fact that people can take anything positive from my rambling means more than I can put into words. So, thank you again for following along through all my craziness <3 xo

Arnold 2013 Weekend!

I'm finally home, settled and back to my normal routine after a fun weekend in Columbus...

Anyone who has ever made the trip out to the Arnold knows how absolutely INSANE the weekend really is. I was at the expo Friday through Sunday and didn't get to catch up with nearly everyone I would have liked to. Luckily I was able to meet quite a few people while spending time at the Champion Nutrition booth. Standing alongside IFBB Pro Bodybuilders Lee Banks and Sherri Gray, both incredible people as well as competitiors...I am really honored to be a part of such a great family of athletes. 2013 is going to be a great year for Champion Nutrition, this was the perfect way to really kick off the season.

Sherri, Lee and Myself

 

 

Aside from my time spent with Champion, I was fortunate enough to spend a great deal of time with the amazing crew from the Make it Fit Foundation and Fantasy Fitness Wear. There was such a great turn out for their booth and it makes me THRILLED to see so many people get behind a cause bigger than themselves. We all get wrapped up in our own little world, so it makes my heart happy to see people stepping up and taking part in helping others. Mike, Shawnna, Debbie and their whole team really made this weekend something special. Even if you weren't able to make it out to Columbus, you can still make a difference...Check them out on FB https://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=tn_tnmn#!/TheMakeItFitFoundation?fref=ts 

Mike Hoover...The man who makes shit happen <3
 

Now, just cause I was out having a blast doesn't mean I wasn't in full prep mode! 8hrs in the car (to and from Ohio) as well as a weekends worth of food ALL packed and prepared for success. It was an exhusting weekend for sure, but I still got my training in (thank you Metro Fitness!). Obviously, it's not easy to check with my coach while on the road, so I touched base with Noel and then checked in when I got home..Down 2 full pounds and beyond THRILLED! The moral of the story...You don't have to live in a bubble just cause you're on a diet :) *making mental note*

 

Overall, my weekend was a blast..Road trip with my girl, spent time with my favorite people and rocked my prep. I couldn't have asked for a better time....and now, it's business as usual!