A peek into my crazy mind...

"All the significant battles are waged within the self"

It's no secret that I tend to have longer preps than what is considered "normal"...I typically diet anywhere from 18-20wks. This prep for Team U when all is said and done will roughly total 24wks or so. Being in the prep mode for that length of time can and will lead to MANY ups and downs.

So many times we focus on our food or getting our bodies to perform and how we look that we tend to forget that our greatest weapon and most important factor in our journey is our own mind and thoughts. One of the most underestimated aspects of contest prep, it the use of your MIND!

For me, visualization is a KEY to my success....
There is always a turning point for me during my prep where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel if you will. When it seems so far away, I can't picture the finish line, it really does make it hard sometimes to keep pushing when I want to give up but when I turn the corner and it's at that point where I actually begin to SEE my end result..I can visualize everything from my physique to my hair, suit, tanning etc..I can see the package that I have been working hard for.

I know I crack jokes about picturing shredded glutes when I'm chugging my way through cardio, but it's very much the truth. As much as I loath the actual cardio, it's where I do some of my best thinking. While I have yet to put my routine together (I know, I know!)..I do listen to my music, daily...while I'm getting ready for the gym, while doing cardio etc. In my head I go through what I WANT to do, how I want things to look. Even if I'm not practicing my posing, I'm doing it in my head. I think about little tweaks I may want to make, imagine how it will look etc. I will watch Youtube videos and cruise pics online...which BTW doing that on my phone makes the time on the step mill move a little quicker ;)

The power of a positive mindset cannot be ignored. It really can change your life...if you let it. When your mind is right, everything else seems to just fall into place. Now, don't get me wrong..Anyone who knows me can say that I am NOT Miss sunshine and roses, some would say a cynical bitch, I say a realist lol But, when it comes to reaching goals or being successful (in any endeavor) I do believe that your mind can make or break you. Will EVERYTHING happen exactly as I have drawn it out in my head? Of course not, but I can honestly say for my first 6 shows, the final product was BETTER than I had pictured.

So, there is a brief little glimpse into my mind...the PG rated version lol
Now if you'll excuse me, Imma go cruise the interwebz for glute striations while I attempt to actually get some sleep :)

Just rambing nonsense at 6 Weeks Out

I have to say the last week or so has been a really solid week for my prep...

I'm now down to the last 6 weeks and things are just on auto pilot at this point. I checked in with Noel over the weekend and there was just a slight drop on the scale but another week of improvement in my pictures. Everything is shaping up; it's safe to say the bitch has her waist back! BOOM!!!! Even though we'd both like to see a bit more movement/changes, we're staying the course for another week. He did make a minor tweak to my cardio...still the same amount of time overall, but more shorter/intense sessions. Remember that time I was begging for cardio??? Yeah, I was a fuckin idiot! Moral of the story...Don't get fat and be careful what you ask for.

At least once a day, I am asked how I'm feeling....

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good.
**My training is decent, let's be real..I'm 6wks out so I'm not smoking PR's or anything but I'm getting a solid pump and still challenging myself so I'm getting it done. *Energy wise, I'm definitely a morning person lol I seem to have the most energy before noon...after that, I'm ready for a nap but they frown upon that at my office so naps are a no-go :/
 

**Hungry..Yes, I'm fuckin hungry. I've been dieting a looooooooooong time now and I'm hitting the stage of prep when I eat and literally look at my empty bowl, still hungry...Like belly rumbling hungry. It's not as bad as previous preps (or maybe it is but I remember it being worse lol)..With my protein still being very high, it seems to keep me a bit more satiated. Of course MASSIVE greens help...I will jam as much salad into a Tupperware container as humanly possible.
 

**And a lovely combo of energy/hunger...I don't get nearly as much sleep as I should or would like to. I've never been a good sleeper and currently it's pretty rough..I like to be asleep around 11 and up at 6:30am...That is NOT happening unfortunately. I don't fall asleep til midnight, get up a few times to pee (even though I have cut my water off by 10pm) and I wake up routinely from 5am until it's time for breakfast...which would explain why I'm tired all day.

Random prep tidbits:
*Tried on my suit again over the weekend..LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! It's a great fit...now, which has me a little worried that in 6wks it will be too big :( Of course my backstage right-hand woman will glue my ass in that motherfucker so there will be NO wardrobe malfunctions. I also still could wear my suit from last season, if I had to...I suppose it's always good to have back up.
*I've been working on my posing a little bit as well...kind of tweaking and playing with things to see how my physique looks best. And along those same lines, playing with routine ideas as well.

6 weeks out :

Training: 4 Day split/typically 5 on/1 off..moderate and intense/super sets
Diet: Low fats/Moderate carb/High protein; 1.5-2gal H2o and 3-4 cups of Tulsi Tea (raspberry/peach)
Cardio: 20-30min step mill sessions (time varies depending on how many sessions I break it up into)
Supplementation: Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, ProFlex Advance Joint Support, Liver Cleanse, Muscle Nitro PM, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and my crack,ThermoGold (3x a day lol)

Now, that you survived my rambling nonsense, I do have to wrap up with my thoughts on the NY Pro (cause anyone cares what I think LOL!)...That was an AMAZING show! It was fantastic to see Victor back on stage again..Of course, he lost significant size but his conditioning was on and his shape is beautiful...now having said that...Big Ramy <3 <3 <3 Sweet Baby Jesus is Ramy on another level! His size and shape are jaw dropping and his conditioning is solid..once he gets it grainy..Look the fuck out! As for the ladies, this WP line up is exactly what the division is all about..I really love the direction it's going as they begin to get more consistent with the judging. Juliana is jaw dropping..Her shape, size, fullness, conditioning..a spot on! I was thrilled to see Toni West in the top 3, hell her and Karina could have swapped placings, either way..they both brought beautiful packages to the stage. I'm looking forward to seeing how the rest of the season plays out leading up to the O.

Following along with the show, cruising pics and watching videos did exactly what it always does...Gave me a little extra OOMP and spring in my step. It was motivational to say the least..For the love of Juliana's quads, booty and hammies..So, until I wake up with a Brazilian booty, Imma just keep squatting and hitting the stairs ;-) 

6 more weeks on the crazy train...........CHOO CHOO!

7 Weeks Out

The leaner I get, the crazier I get...
Consider yourself warned :)

I had a check in with my coach over the weekend and things are moving along. A slight drop on the scale, only a half pound which honestly I was expecting more but it is what it is. My progress pictures this week showed MUCH change from the last set so that's all that matters. I am SEEING progress, literally my body is pretty much changing daily which is why I was expecting a bit more of a drop of the scale. I'm sitting at 137.5lbs right now with pretty solid conditioning..I have delt/trap and pec separation, my obliques are coming in and I've got some hammies..My fat gurl jeans are falling off and I have just one chin and cheek bones, the bobble look is is full effect :) **note to self, don't get fat ever again!

While I have been getting in some posing here and there, this weekend I had my first REAL quality posing session...my body is fuckin sore, just sayin! I got some great perspective and I'm working on making a few little tweaks to really show off my physique the best way I can. One thing I did was practice with my hair down! FUCK!!! I forgot what a pain in the ass that is. I always wear my hair looking like I just rolled out of bed, so people RARELY see it down...it's close to my waist at this point. I'm sweaty, it's sticking to me ugh..I'm the worst "girl" lol

Now, aside from that I'm also starting to put the routine together...Worst part EVER! Of course that leads me to watching hours of routines on Youtube, keeping me up well past my bedtime...now, this only makes my paranoia worst. Lemme sit and watch Kai Greene videos, yeah, bitch..Kai, you are NOT! Anywho, I have my music set and edited, I pretty much know all the poses I want to hit..I know, I'm not a bodybuilder but it's my routine and if I wanna rock a most muscular and a lat spread I will DAMMIT! The problem for me, is getting all the poses to flow to my music. There is a reason I'm not a performer...oh lawd help me *insert panic attack here*

7 weeks out and rolling along:

Training: 4 Day split/ 5-6 days a week..heavy/moderate and intense/super sets
Diet: Low fats/Moderate carb/High protein; 1.5-2gal H2o and 3-4 cups of Tulsi Tea (raspberry/peach)
Cardio: 30min step mill sessions (POSING!)
Supplementation: Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, ProFlex Advance Joint Support, Liver Cleanse, Muscle Nitro PM, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Pure Whey and my crack,ThermoGold (3x a day lol)

And now I leave you with this....
just because I can...

Loneliness is a choice, YOUR choice...

Now that competition season is well underway, one of the most common things I hear is what a "lonely" sport bodybuilding is. What a "lonely" lifestyle it is. In my opinion (which is the only thing that matters, since it's my blog LOL!) that is YOUR choice. If you feel the need to close yourself off from people, or wrap yourself in a little cocoon that's fine but don't complain that nobody understands or supports you or that you're lonely and miserable.

I absolutely LOVE my sport..I love training, even dieting lol I really love the lifestyle that I choose to live. Yes, I CHOOSE my lifestyle..hence, it's something that I enjoy, something that is fulfilling and genuinely makes me happy. Are there moments that I bitch and complain? Would I rather eat ice cream and cookies over egg whites? Of course, I'm human and I have emotions, sometimes they are up and sometimes they are really down but overall, in the grand scheme of things I love what I do.

People say that I'm "lucky" because I have supportive people in my life..I don't think I'm lucky, but I do believe I am fortunate to have the support system that I do. Was it always this way? Hell no, but I make the choice as to who I share my life and my journey with. Not everyone in my world is a competitor or even into the same lifestyle I am but, they are positive forces in my life. They all have a PASSION for SOMETHING, a DRIVE so they understand how happy my sport makes me, therefore they support me in anyway they can.

No doubt, bodybuilding is not a "team" sport in the same sense as baseball or football etc. I get that. It is for the loner, if you will..no argument from me there. Yes, I am the one moving weight in the gym, I'm the one climbing the step mill to hell and there is NOBODY else responsible for prepping and eating my meals except for ME, but to think when I get on stage that it was all me is ridiculous. There are so many incredible people who are there along for the ride with me. From random texts/emails to a pep talk when I'm having a tough day or advice along the way, to listening to me rant about the jerkoff on MY stepmill lol..I do have a TEAM of people who in one way or another make an impact on me and my journey. And honestly, having them on the crazy train with me is part of the fun!

If you aren't happy and you don't LOVE what you're doing then you should take a step back and think about WHY you're doing it. I do truly believe that you are "who you hang with" so I limit my time with people who suck the energy and positivity out of my life. If you're locking yourself in a cave just to compete, you're missing out on some incredible opportunites/experiences and you're not really getting the full reward of the journey.

8 Weeks Out!

Tick tock, tick tock....
This weeks check-in was, ummmm...interesting lol

I got up, did my weight and pics like normal but the scale was UP a few pounds and my pics looked horrible..like potbelly horrible :( I don't know what the fuck was going on but it pissed me off. Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending how ya look at it) my laptop wasn't working so I was unable to send my info over to my coach. Instead of smashing it, I took it as a sign to get my ass to the gym. While I was training and posing, I'm pleasantly (and annoyingly) surprised that I look a million times better than I did earlier that morning!?!? After driving myself INSANE about why things seemed so off, I realized prior to taking pics or getting on the scale, I hadn't gone to the bathroom that morning..hmmmm....or for a while come to think of it! So, the next day I redid everything...scale, pics the whole sha-bang and BOOM! The scale was down and my pics looked much better and showed CLEAR progress from last week. I could see that I'm getting tighter overall, but it's especially noticeable in my back, ass and legs. My waistline is definitely back..thankyousweetbabyjesus!

So, the moral of the story ladies is make sure you poop BEFORE you take stats and pics! Yes, boys we poop and get periods (well, some of us lol)...get over it :) 

Ahem, back to the check-in lol
My coach is happy with how I'm progressing, as am I.
8 weeks is an interesting amount of time...there's a good chunk of time to make some great changes but also, no fuckin time to play around. Do I stop and give myself props for how far I've come? Of course! Hell, I'm down to 137.5 which is OVER a 20lb loss (while keeping my size) from my sloppy off season max, but that just shows me what I'm capable of and it's time to crank this bitch into another gear and do fuckin work! There are no changes to my diet this week, but Noel did bump up my cardio to 30min sessions..again, not too bad but those extra 10min on the step mill are WICKED! When I'm not able to use the step mill and I have to use another piece of equipment, it just seems too easy, barely break a sweat, like I'm wasting my time..It feels good to feel FIT again. I like being in good shape :)

8 weeks out and here's plan of action:

Training: 4 Day split/ 5-6 days a week..heavy/moderate and intense
Diet: Low fats/Moderate carb/High protein; 1.5-2gal H2o and 3-4 cups of Tulsi Tea (raspberry/peach)
Cardio: 30min step mill sessions (plus posing, which I NEED to do more of!)Supplementation: Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, ProFlex Advance Joint Support, Liver Cleanse, Muscle Nitro PM, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Adrenol8 (pre/wo), Pure Whey and my crack,ThermoGold (3x a day lol)

9 Weeks Out

It's update time boys and girls!
I'm 9 weeks out now from Team U and things are moving along pretty well....

I took pics as well as got my ass on the scale this weekend and the progress is there! YAY! The scale dropped again, nearly 2lbs and while yes, it feels good to see that number drop (ok..fucking amazing lol), it feels even better to SEE it in my physique. Each week my body is changing, I see it in the mirror and in pictures..My shape is coming back! The waistline that I love (and missed) so much is back...or my delts and lats are bigger, either way, I'll take it ;-)

Things on the diet and training front are just pretty much cruising on auto pilot right now. I get in the gym, I get shit done, I eat like clock work and keep chugging along. I'm definitely hitting the stage of hunger..like, more than my normal hunger. I'm licking my tupperware, but yeah..I do that year round so I can't blame the diet lol It's nothing terrible, it's been worst in the past but I'm assuming since my diet is higher in protein it's keeping me a little more satiated than previously. I'm also proud to say that I'm tearing it up with my cardio..It feels good to not be so winded and out of shape anymore. It's nice to not only LOOK fit but to actually BE fit.

Other than that, things are starting to move along in other prep-like aspects....

*I officially have my suit!!!! *jumping up and down* As we all know, suits are one of the most expensive parts of competing..unfortunately a new suit was just not in the cards for me this season but a friend has loaned me her BEAUTIFUL suit to rock...She considers it "The sisterhood of the traveling suit" <--her words, not mine LOL! I tried it on this weekend and literally screamed with excitement! 

*I got my jewelry a while back at the Arnold, Thank You Fantasy Fitness Wear! Between the suit and my jewels, the bling is all set.

*I also decided on my routine music, my friend edited it for me this weekend and it's all ready to go! Now, I've got 9wks to put something together! Ummm...yeah, this is the hard part. I've got my work cut out for me here. A performer, I am not...HELP ME!!!!!!!

Yes, I still have a ways to go but I can SEE it and no doubt this package is coming together!

9 weeks out and here's plan of action:

Training: 4 Day split/ 5-6 days a week..heavy/moderate and intense
Diet: Low fats/Moderate carb/High protein; 1.5-2gal H2o and 3-4 cups of Tulsi Tea (raspberry/peach)..Thank you Rene!
Cardio: 20min step mill sessions (posing and now routine practice should count..IMO!)
Supplementation: Champion Nutrition's Multi-V, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Performance BCAA's, ProFlex Advance Joint Support, Liver Cleanse, Muscle Nitro PM, Power Creatine, Power Glutamine, Adrenol8 (pre/wo), Pure Whey and the love of my life, ThermoGold :)