Warning: First Meltdown!

Well, it was bound to happen eventually.....

My first contest prep meltdown :(

I checked in with Noel over the weekend as usual and to my surprise the scale was up..not just a little fluctuation, but 3 whole pounds! I've been 110% on my plan and haven't changed a thing so that was NOT something I was expecting to see..Of course the scale doesn't tell the whole story, but that was definitely a blow. As I stripped down for another round of pics, I can't help but worry that with 16wks to go, I'm behind...I'm still so fat, That I should be further along, That I'll never be ready etc. 

I normally take my progress pics in a regular bikini, but I figured I would try my suit on cause I have no fuckin clue why!!! Emotional cutting?!!? Let's see, I'm 40 fuckin pounds heavier than the last time I had it on...WTF would make me think anything good would come of this?! At any rate, ummm...no, it didn't fit (shocker!) but it also got me thinking that given the size that I've put on and the progress I've made over the last year, there is a VERY good chance that even come show time, I will not be fitting in that suit EVER again. So then my head starts spinning about needing a new suit..what size? Cost? AHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Now, as the meltdown and panic attack subsided, Noel and I went over a few things, troubleshooting and I checked back in a couple days later...luckily for my sanity, the scale was back down this morning, so still not sure why the large swing/increase but it dropped and that's what counts lol He did make some slight tweaks to my diet to get things moving. A little drop in carbs but overall nothing drastic. I know it sounds crazy (and let's be real..I'm fuckin crazy)..I'm actually EXCITED for the change in macros! I look forward to seeing the changes and to answer your question...No, I am still not doing any cardio but oddly enough, I wouldn't mind if I had too..again, kinda looking forward to it??? (check back with me on that later lol)

This is a prime example of why I could NEVER do my own prep diet. A coach is calm, cool and objective...I would have made retarded changes to my program and lord know what else. I have nothing but respect for people who manage to do their own contest prep..Nothing but props to you, I don't know how you do it. I cannot look at myself objectively, all I see is what work needs to be done and how far I still have to go. Patience is NOT a virtue that I possess..I want what I want and I want it NOW! The best thing I do is hand the reigns over to someone and do what I'm told...Contest prep is the only aspect of my life I just shut my mouth and follow directions LOL!

Anywho, I'm looking forward to seeing how my body responds this week with the changes I've made, that really is part of what makes this so much fun....Well, that and the cut in food is a nice savings at the food store :)))

So..meltdown over and moving on....