Meltdown! Of my sanity, not my fat...

I've been in my new place and settled for 3 weeks now, I am FINALLY in the routine again. 
I'm basically back on auto pilot. Food prep, supplements, carrying my cooler instead of a purse, hitting the gym consistently, working, sleeping and repeat..I am running on all cylinders again and it feels FABULOUS!

Unfortunately it's going to take time for my body to catch up to my mind. I have to remind myself (and I have wonderful friends who do as well lol) that it took me about 6-8wks to put the shit weight on so it's going to take some time to get off :/ FUCKER! I'm not "dieting" per se but I'm counting/weighing and measuring, hitting my macros and stepping up the intensity in the gym. My training has been decent, nothing mind blowing..no PR's or anything exciting like that. I've been doing more higher rep work since I'm still too fat for my belt..Seriously! I do miss squatting and deadlifting heavy but til I drop some fluff, Imma take it a little bit lighter. My strength and endurance are coming back, not quite to where I was a few months ago but I'm on my way.

And now for the part where I sound like a crazy bitch............

This weekend I had a slight (or severe..potato, potahto) meltdown. It's been a month since I attempted to put on anything other than gym clothes...yeah, that didn't go so well :/  I don't own a single pair of pants that fit...literally, 15 pairs of pants (10 of them jeans, 2 of which I have previously ripped) and not a single pair could I button and that's if I even managed to get them over my ass. Yeah, I sat in a pile of clothes on my floor and cried....then back into the sweats I went. After a few panicked text/FB messages and a roommate who looked at me like I had lost my mind (as if I ever had it) I decided to just break down and buy new jeans :( That was about as much fun as sticking a rusty nail in my eyeballs! Shopping is a blast when you look and feel good...when it's cause you HAVE to, not so much. At any rate, I did find 2 pairs...in a size I have NEVER even tried on, let alone purchased...they were cheap cause I do NOT intend on wearing them for long. But, at least I wont be living in my gym clothes anymore. As far as tops go, thank fuckin' sweet baby Jesus for fall and hoodie weather cause if I get stuck in one more of my shirts Imma kill someone..

 
Anywho, I had my meltdown, I ranted and now I just make fun of myself...